Dreams of Insomnia

Help Me

2010-02-12T18:35:00.000-08:00

I know my words are slurred

But everything is my fault

Right down to the spinning rooms

And empty bottles lining the walls

I can’t fix anything

I can’t even fix myself

All That's Left Is Madness

2010-02-12T18:20:00.000-08:00

Colors blur and lines fade

And everyone oversteps their boundaries

Because you have to look pretty

For the never stopping paparazzi

But, Honey, the camera’s lost focus

And pretty went out the window with sanity

Emergency Emergency

2010-02-12T18:09:00.000-08:00

I just want to burn one last bridge

And I want to cut all the ties

The sirens will help me

The flashing lights can guide me

And maybe the doctors can save me

Simple

2009-11-19T17:21:00.000-08:00

If you tell me to jump, I will ask when and where and from how far up.

Whispering Wind

2009-11-18T16:31:00.000-08:00

Wind travels faster than I can, and I have something to tell you that scares me. If I whisper it into the wind and then hop on a bus to tell you in person, will you be there to hear it from me? Or will you run after the wind told you I love you because it scares you just as much as me?

Never

2009-11-17T15:30:00.000-08:00

I thought what I wanted couldn't get any simpler. I was wrong.

Maybe it was too much to ask for a place to belong.

Crying In The Rain

2009-11-16T16:27:00.000-08:00

It has been a year exactly. You left forever without warning. I never cried. It never mattered to me except knowing you had the nerve to slip away into the rain without a trace and leave the rest of them behind. If any trace of you were to pop up again and hurt them more, I might cry this one time because I know how bad you've hurt them again. Please don't trace your foot steps home.

Unheard Call

2009-11-15T15:47:00.000-08:00

Everyday I see people become zombies. Each one folding to an unknown order. Everyday I see myself become more and more like them. I want a reason so desperately to follow my own instructions.

Starting Over

2009-11-13T21:43:00.000-08:00

With new eyes I see. Something was missing in me. You opened up the sky to me. But I could only run so far. Something changed that night. You came to me, in a dream. And I was startled with fright at your sight. I had accepted blindness to you.

Up Above

2009-11-13T20:22:00.000-08:00

From my lonely and single vantage point, I see all that you have made. With tears in my eyes I stoop down below. My knees scrape the ground as I'm forced to believe. I wish to breathe before the end. Please don't leave me again.

Magic Lights

2009-11-12T15:34:00.000-08:00

Lights dim, people clap, and curtains open. Everyone plays their part and they play it well. No one can see it's all fake, that you aren't under a spell, and that you aren't really in love with the other lead role. Then the curtains pull, lights flash, and people clap. Then they leave and so do you. No one knows you are the same person they just witnessed die in a moment of ending tragedy when they see you at the local coffee shop. No one remembers you, but they remember how you tricked them into believing in love. How you fooled me into believing in love.

21 Guns

2009-11-11T12:57:00.000-08:00

So many look up to you. No one knows what it is like to see what you've seen. To do what you've done. So few have any idea of the pain it's caused. The fear inspired. Your family never knew when you would come home. A nation stood by your side telling you it was right. But I know not all of what you did was honest and true. But for that, most will forgive and honor you.

Subtle Sprouts

2009-11-10T15:56:00.000-08:00

Life is amazing. It is a miracle. Every breath I take is proof. Every step I take is a reminder. Every heartbeat is another miracle. Everytime I fall in love is proof. And you are my reminder.

Late Night Confession

2009-11-09T16:07:00.000-08:00

I miss you so dearly. You promised to follow but stayed behind. Its not fair for me to want you here when there are more people for you there. You say it's different without me. It's different without you too. I miss the times we had together. Walking the town at three in the morning. Late night talks in the yard. Sitting saying nothing at the basketball courts. How will I live without you? Oh, that's right.

I won't.

The Glass Doll

2009-11-07T23:02:00.000-08:00

I know a girl who is lost beyond belief. She swears up and down that she will be okay. It’s the city she claims that made her this way, not the medication the doctors put her on. She prays for an escape. She wants to leave every memory she had in that house. She wants to forget how time had lost its place because of her addiction. She wants to leave it all, right down to every tear and every fear. She screams at night because of each dream. She dreams that she’s locked up and no one can hear her pleas while she drowns in her own pool of blood. And when she finally fled the scene, she found it was not how it seemed.

Silent City

2009-11-06T20:58:00.000-08:00

I wanted to tell you that I left.
I wanted to tell you that I am never coming back.
I wanted to tell you that I would be hundreds of miles away.
I wanted to tell you that you wouldn't miss me.
I wanted to tell you that that kills me inside.
I wanted to tell you that you make or break my day.
I wanted to tell you that everytime you walk away, I really wish you were walking to me.
I wanted to tell you that you can do anything.
I wanted to tell you that you were holding me back.
I wanted to tell you that none of the tears were ever because of you.
I wanted to tell you that you don't matter to me.
I wanted to tell you that you are nothing.
I wanted to tell you that I hate your touch.
I wanted to tell you that talking to you doesn't give me butterflies in my stomach.
I wanted to tell you that I hate you.
I wanted to tell you that I love you.

But all I could ever tell you was nothing.

Thoughts Unspoken

2009-11-06T19:52:00.000-08:00

There are things people never told you. Everything they never told you was never true.

Because everything they never told you was that you are worthless and don't matter.